Is One the Loneliest Number for the Holidays?

For Singles during the holidays, one can seem like the loneliest number that they'll ever do. But before anyone gets carried away with those sad Three Dog Night lyrics (Number!) this Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, here are some fun facts that may have Singles thinking next year may be the year for number two ... not to mention banishing those dreaded questions at family gatherings like "Met anyone new?"

A few facts about Singles:
● There are almost 100 million unmarried adults in the U.S., of which, ~90 million will marry at some time. Of these marriage-minded Singles, an estimated 1 out of 3 are on match.com and other online dating sites.
● For every population of 1,000, there will be 9 marriages per year
● Unmarrieds are more likely to vote Democrat
● About 40% of the workplace is unmarried
● In the US, on average in the first marriage, the man is 3 years older; in the second marriage 5 years older; in the third marriage, 8 years older.

For those who want to get on the fast track to marriage 
Based on the stats, move to a small town, get a job, hang out by the water cooler, register to vote Republican, sign up to date online, and if you're a woman, look for a slightly older single man!

All fun aside, if the relatives have replaced the questions about the date life and attempts at matchmaking with a pitiful look that says chances are slim to hopeless for a future twosome, these scriptures are helpful to keep in mind:

"Delight yourself in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." Psalm 37:4-5
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55: 8-9

In other words, God probably has someone more suitable in mind than Aunt Betty's friend's nephew who lives two states away. And, no need to resort to desperate measures like the heroine in my book!

As a Single, One is the number that assures us 'tis the season to be jolly; the same One we'll see in eternity because He is the number that cares about our number: whether one or two or more.

Love & Light!

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Halloween: Bah humbug!

As Christians, I believe we are all called in some way to express our beliefs through our gifts and God-given talents. Some are lofty like a ministry in a dangerous land. Others are blessed with the gift of music and praise. Then there’s one of mine: being a certain holiday party-pooper, which is something I never imagined and began unintentionally 10 years ago.

One day in early September, I was running through a party store the size of a giant barn in search of last-minute birthday paraphernalia. I found myself in the new Halloween costume wing alone and in full view of a massive display that caused me to look at Halloween as never before. With a 180-degree view, the walls were lined from floor to ceiling with full costumes on hangers, next to the model photo on the packaging. Starting with darling pumpkins, I smiled and remembered my daughter in a similar outfit when she was a toddler. Soon, little pumpkins and kittens became Disney darlings like Belle, Jasmine and Cinderella. Like the girls, the boys went from little sluggers to daring ninjas. All of these cute outfits evoked good memories of walking the neighborhood from Halloweens’ past, the children challenging each other to see who'd bring home the biggest loot of candy.

But the last wall was an eye opener for me. If you followed the path of progression, your little lion grows up to become some morbid chainsaw murderer; your precious pumpkin becomes a not-so-nice French maid or alternatively a grotesque witch.

Within seconds, the first thoughts that popped into mind: “So this is how they suck you in. This is wrong.” And those thoughts came during a decade when I didn't consider myself overly committed to my beliefs. Still, I couldn't get the experience out of my mind. I went home and researched the meaning of Halloween, its origins and how costumes and carved jack-o-lanterns came about: The Festival of the Dead, the Celtics, mystical beliefs and the like. Then, I read scripture that talked about how we shouldn't emulate the dark or be of the world and made what I thought would be an unpopular decision: no more Halloween for me and my house.

Instead of mutiny, my grade school children were okay. In fact, almost relieved. They didn't get why kids had to be subjected to scary things to begin with -- what was fun about the monster mannequin in the grocery aisle spooking little tykes? They gladly skipped the costumes and tricks as long the treats didn't go away.

My takeaway? Refusing to go along with traditional Halloween and possibly being branded as some religious fanatic was a big step for me. However, this was small in comparison to listening and obeying to what I believed God was personally telling me.

Do I condemn others who celebrate the day? No. Even the Vatican’s expert in exorcism reportedly said there was no harm in children dressing up as witches and devils for a day. Okay, a little ironic I think because Father Gabriele Amorth, an Italian Roman Catholic priest who founded the International Association of Exorcists, was quoted in a London Telegraph article titled The Devil is Gaining Ground. In his 80s, Father Amorth claimed as recent as 2010 that he had performed 70,000 exorcisms in his life. He also states that the movie The Exorcist is a real depiction of his work. (Who needs Halloween with this info?)

Is Halloween just a game as Father Amorth says? Is it a day pass for Christians? Perhaps, but I have to wonder why this message made such an impact on me? Can such a harmless event become a nightmare like the premise of my book?

Halloween is a $5+ billion industry and half of that is based on costume sales alone! What if we gave up the dark threads and sent the money to an organization like World Vision instead? Yes, I know goblins aren’t going away because one woman heard one still voice in a party warehouse years ago. But it does have me thinking and sharing this season: why all the horror, when we have the glory? Why celebrate death and darkness when we have light and eternity? Why not share the good Word that Jesus only treats ... something to celebrate every day of the year!

Love & Light,
Cheryl

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The Harvest Season and Marriage Proposals

Do you know the #1 holiday when most marriage proposals occur? Valentine's seems like the logical occasion, however,  Christmas leads the pack with New Year's and Thanksgiving ranking #3 and #4, respectively. Cupid's day ranks #2.

Why do thoughts of marriage begin swirling in sync with falling leaves? In the U.S., the tradition takes root when we were primarily an agricultural nation, and proposals began after crops were harvested. I suppose with the storehouse full and long days of summer sun gone, thoughts of cold, wintry nights had young men and women thinking ahead.

And, if yesteryear's couples followed today's trends, it's likely they would have married in Las Vegas, Gatlinburg, Tennessee or New Orleans, the top three wedding cities in the U.S. Strange, because when you think of Vegas, waving sheaves of wheat aren't top of mind.

As we wait for the harvest of our lives (Matthew 13:30), let us remember that while corn may not grow in Vegas like sugar grows near Nawlins, we are all part of the wedding party. Our role may vary, but our soul doesn't tarry. With Christ, we're all headed to the chapel of love. Amen!

Love & Light,
Cheryl

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The Love of the Ring: How One Engagement Tradition Began

Wearing a ring on your left hand? You may find the story behind its origins quite surprising. My research finds engagement traditions like the ring date back 4000 years ago to the day of Abraham, ancient dweller in the land of Canaan.

No, Abraham didn't give his wife Sarah the first ring, rather he sent it with his servant, Eliezer of Damascus to another land in search of a wife for his son Isaac. What makes the story of Eliezer intriguing is that prior to Isaac's birth, he was the heir apparent to Abraham's fortune as the senior servant of the household. Because of Sarah's old age, Eliezer probably thought that he'd reap the bounty. However, God had other plans. Isaac was born when Eliezer's master was 100 and Sarah 90.

When Abraham directed Eliezer to go back to the country of his people to find 'the one' for Isaac, it meant Eliezer would have to travel 600 miles. Can you imagine the task? Before The Bachelor, what was a guy like modern-day Chris Harrison to do? Genesis 24:12-15 tells us he prayed about finding the right woman in a faraway land. After a 20+ day journey, Eliezer stopped at well near the town of Nahor where along came a bachelorette named Rebekah who not only gave Eliezer water, but went a step further to water the thirsty camels after a padded trek across arid terrain.

When Rebekah answered Eliezer's prayers (Genesis 24:14), he placed a golden ring in her nose and two gold bracelets on her arm. Hardly romantic considering it was from the servant instead of the groom-to-be (not to mention the nose thing ... awkward!), but evidently exciting enough for Rebekah to run and tell her mother and family the news.

Was she ecstatic about the prospect of marriage or the weight of the offer? In today's currency, the nose ring was worth around $300, however, the gold bracelets represented a whopping $50,000 -- not bad for showing the love to a herd of camels!

Eliezer celebrated the joyful news with Rebekah's family and spent the night as their guest (think Hometown Date). Afterwards, the family wanted her to stay for 10 days or so before departing to the land of her betrothed, but Eliezer was persistent that he return to his master immediately, and Rebekah, when asked what she wanted to do, agreed.

The rest is a beautiful story of love at first sight. Reading Genesis 24:63, you can almost envision Isaac sitting high on the hill at dusk. The Bible says he was meditating, possibly wondering if Eliezer would return with a wife for him when he saw the caravan and a fair damsel riding atop a camel. In turn, when Rebekah saw Isaac, The King James version says she alighted from her camel. Alighted? The NIV version states a less passionate version to say she got off her camel. However, I like to think that as Rebekah approached Canaan, weighted with gold bangles on her arm equivalent to seven iPhones and a symbolic gold ring in her nose, her heart blazed when she saw her future husband and descended to meet him. 

Equally yoked, Isaac and Rebekah, Abraham's kindred, were part of the first family, establishing the first record of the engagement ring tradition.

As for the love of the ring? I parallel Eliezer to another journey. He traveled ahead to offer a symbol of the true treasure. He was faithful, persistent and sacrificed earthly comfort for something greater. The heroine in Charlotte Marries a Vampire has a persistent Eliezer-type, too. He travels far for her heart just like he'll travel for yours.

Love & Light!

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Who's equally yoked with The Bachelorette?

I love catching a season of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette every now and then. I've been tuned in this season with Ashley since I caught the tail end of The Bachelor. In those last episodes, I thought she was a tad bit whiny. Easy for me to write as I watched in the comfort of my own home while she spilled out her heart in Africa and shared Brad's affections with two other women! That's why I've been happy to watch Ashley as The Bachelorette because it shows us more about the beautiful, accomplished woman she is, going through this process. I've been quite impressed (except for, uh hum, Bentley) at how she's made the journey and cannot wait to see the final episodes.

As for the show, I think there are a couple of things missing -- especially when it comes to the subject of equally yoked. I mean, they never discuss their careers (unless it's edited out or topic's taboo according to the rules) and more importantly, they never discuss their faith! What's up with that? Is it an intentional, politically-correct thing to possibly not alienate a wider, viewing audience?

Show rules aside, I've recently played out the scenarios in discussions with friends and will share them with you. In the last episode, we saw J.P.'s mom pull out the Bar Mitzvah poster photo (too cute!). Now we know that J.P. comes from the Jewish faith. Seeing Constantine and clan in action, we can deduce he's Greek Orthodox a la My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Ben, well, based on the Sonoma locale; maybe a traditional religion like Lutheran or Presbyterian. What's Ashley's faith? I've seen no clues that would lead me to speculate, but here's the point. Fast forward 10 years.

Ashley and J.P. marry. Let's say she's Protestant and he's Jewish. They both agree to keep their own faith and practice each other's religion when it comes to the kids. They both respect each other's beliefs enough to make it work and it does. Or ... (yes dot dot dot Bentley style) let's say J.P.'s abandoned his faith and subsequently has no real interest in Ashley's beliefs. He thinks they're fine for her, but would rather skip out on the rituals for himself. She, on the other hand, wants her kids to share her beliefs. See where this is going? Now, let's pick Constantine and assume both celebrate Easter, Christmas and have similar type beliefs. Possibly the same with Ben. At a surface level, it could all work, but the yoke of the matter doesn't come from religious ties rather heart ties. When it comes to worshiping and serving God, does Ashley's heart tie equally with the man of her choice or are there a few strings broken as seen in my book Charlotte Marries a Vampire that could play an offbeat tune later on? 

Ashley's narrowed down her selection to three wonderful men (Go Ames for The Bachelor!) and from a viewer's standpoint, I don't see how she could go wrong with any of them. Only God knows the hearts of these young people and we can only pray that the two equally yoked, will be joined together. Then participants and viewers can live happily, ever after, which are my favorite kind of stories!

If you want to chime in with your thoughts, post a comment or email me at cheryl [at] sweetpicturefilms [only one dot] com. I'd love to hear your take. For more on equally yoked, check out my eBook.

p.s. A special request for the producers of the show -- get rid of the fantasy suite. It's just tacky - dot dot dot - need I say more!?

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A Girl's Gotta Eat ... a Shout Out for The Apron Gal

While our story's antagonist watches his waistline by adhering to a strict no food diet, our heroine must eat! I imagine Charlotte will love Kasee's fun new blog, The Apron Gal (see button on right). Especially enticing is the appetizer recipe for Sausage Stuffed Mushrooms unless you're a no pork person -- then I'm sure chicken would work just as well. Thanks Kasee ... we'll be checking in weekly.

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God-given Rebellion: Happy 4th of July!

Today I'm reminded that the root of my rebellion is not always a bad thing, although this realization hasn't always come without some angst. You see, on the outside I project a seemingly compliant, good girl image -- but deep inside? Well, when it comes to certain subjects, I have a streak of rebellion so fierce that it often shocks me! Where does this come from? Why can't I go with the flow, get over it, accept it, etc.  

Why do I get charged up when I see greed win at the expense of the vulnerable or political leadership treat its constituents like an ATM? Sounds like I would have been discontent some two hundred plus years ago, too.

Whether rebellion surges for the good of many or the good of myself, I now accept it as a God-given emotion - something's not right. Jesus demonstrated this when He turned over the money changers' tables in the temple - something wasn't right there either. But He also rebelled against the law of the day when He touched and healed the leper out of compassion - a true rebel with a cause.

I'm also reminded that whether my rebellion is on track or not, I have a God who loves me just the way I am; a Father in Heaven who gently turns me in a direction for something good, to give me hope and a future.

My new eBook, Charlotte Marries a Vampire, is about a rebellious young woman. Despite herself, God has her back and He has yours, too, just like He did with our country's founding fathers so many years ago in order that we may we celebrate today a hope and a future.

Enjoy the day and seize the rebel within! In celebration for the 4th, I'm offering the eBook for FREE through July 8. Download to your Kindle (PC version available, too) Nook, Kobo, Sony Reader or others at: . If you like what you read, please come back and post a few words. I'd really appreciate it prior to the official launch August 3. Also -- opt-in for updates info on the on-screen version as well as the upcoming sequel: Charlotte Meets her Mother. The story premise is based on the Book of Ruth and layered with the same challenges many face today.

Happy 4th!

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